In today’s episode, we are talking about why is it important to forgive? How do we forgive? More importantly, how do we forgive ourselves?
Hey there, my name’s Clément Yeung. I’m your host. Welcome to another episode of unleash love. This is a new type of episode it’s a new content type. There’s no expert on here, unless you think I’m an expert in which case, thank you. There are no questions being answered on this one. This is just me freestyling on things that I’ve experienced and things that I’ve learned so that maybe when you listen to it, you can.
Live vicariously through my experiences and maybe use them to your advantage. Isn’t that the whole point of podcast, isn’t that the whole point of this show to teach you things that other people have experienced so that you can learn from that, maybe use it in your own life. What I want to talk about today that happened to me recently is forgiveness for wrongdoing for.
Saying things that could be hurtful [00:01:00] for acting the way that was unbecoming or inappropriate. I’m sure that you’ve been in a situation before where, someone has wronged you or someone has whether they meant to or not. If they meant to, then that’s even more hurtful, but I’m sure you’ve been in that situation.
Everyone has. They feel wronged by someone and they can’t forgive or they don’t want to forgive, or I’m sure you’ve been in this situation too. I think everyone has where you’ve wronged someone, whether you want it to or not. And that person doesn’t want to forgive you. And that hurts too. It hurts both.
It doesn’t just hurt the person who did wrong. It hurts the person who can’t forgive you when, but when you don’t want to forgive [00:02:00] someone and it might be someone really close, could be a father, could be a mother, could be, your siblings could be your ex could be your current partner. It could be your current partner.
You don’t forgive them. You carry that negative energy around with you. It’s they say, it’s a chip on your shoulder. It’s a weight on your back. It’s a heavy on your chest. There’s a lot of ways to describe it, but those are all accurate because it does feel that way. It feels like a ball and chain and you’re not light.
You’re not nimble or at least not as much as you could be. So you get dragged down with all the new things that pop up that you notice that maybe this person is doing. Or even if they’re not. Hurting you, even if they’re not that inherently, you can see them as that because you’re projecting their past errors because you haven’t forgiven them.
So it’s a, [00:03:00] like a self fulfilling prophecy or some kind of self-reinforcing cycle of this belief that this person is unforgivable and that they’re just. Now that’s a pretty extreme dream example of not being able to forgive someone, but I think a lot of people have that. And a lot of people experience, I think the key to being able to, if it gives someone to be able to move on from whatever it is that was wronged or whatever it is that you wrong, someone else, I think the key to moving on from that as the person forgiving is to have empathy, is to be able to say, I recognize that this person is a human being.
I recognize that given the correct circumstances, the correct environment for that behavior, for that way of thinking for that way of seeing the universe at that point, [00:04:00] because we’re all here, right? We’re all the same, we come from the same. We carry the same energy. We have the same potential.
You have to recognize that in someone, in order to be able to see them for who they really are, because what you see when you don’t forgive someone is a bad person. Someone not worthy someone so different to you. You would never do that. You could never do that. So why would you forgive them? But if you take the moment.
To really think about who they are, where they’re coming from, what their unique experiences have been, that led up to that point and what they must have had to believe in order to do it.
You can start to recognize yourself in them. Now it’s harder to do that. The more serious the. The wronging becomes like [00:05:00] there are murderers out there. There are pedophiles out there. There are narcissists sociopath, psychopaths. It’s a very hard to forgive people like that because they are such a terrible influence on society.
But when people like Dr. Jordan Peterson investigate the motives behind why ordinary people. In Nazi Germany, we’re capable of committing such atrocities under the Nazi regime. He is criticized by the media and by pundits and by experts as being a sympathizer. When in reality, in what I believe is true is that he is simply searching for what makes us human and.
Leads us to commit such terrible atrocities. It’s the pathology [00:06:00] of inhumane actions. And I think it’s worth investigating. And what he’s saying is these are regular people who did awful things. And if you were in that situation at that time, and that was your environment, and that was your approach.
It’s very plausible that you would have done the same thing, which is terrifying. In that example, it’s terrifying to know that you could do those things because you’re human because they were human because we’re both the same. So I think empathy is what I’m saying is the key to forgiveness, empathy. If you can empathize with someone, you can know what they went through with credit clarity, spend the time to get to understand their motive.
It’s a lot easier to let that energy go and to move on with your life and to be happy and to get closure and give them closure [00:07:00] because they need that. They might need that in life. They might not, they might move on fine. And they might not think about it anymore. But I believe that it’s good for society.
I also want to say it’s essential that you’re able to forgive yourself. And I have struggled with this my whole life. I can’t forgive myself for many things with my current mindset, my current belief system, I am working on getting to the point where I can forgive myself, but it takes a lot of work. It takes time.
You have to rewire and reprogram how you see your life and who you are. I honestly don’t know when I’ll get to the point where I can, but you must be able to do it because if you can’t forgive yourself, I’m pretty confident. You’re not going to be able to forgive [00:08:00] others, or you’re going to find it very hard to forgive others.
And it’s not just that. If you can’t forgive yourself, You’re going to be limiting yourself in life. You’re going to hold yourself back from being able to receive the gifts that life has to offer. Think about it in order to be able to receive gifts that life has to offer. You have to believe that you’re worthy of them.
You know what I mean? You have to think about that. Are you worthy of what’s being offered to you? This is why I’m so bad with compliments. When people give me compliments and terrible. I don’t like to accept them. Why? Because in my self-belief, I think I’m not worthy of it to a certain degree. Now. There’s a lot of reasons why that might be, but we won’t get into that on this episode, however, they exist and they need to be eliminated.
They need to be removed. They need to be [00:09:00] alleviated and. Forgiving yourself is key.
So I hope that this helped you. I hope that this was something that you can use. This was my first attempt at brain dumping on you all. And I look forward to doing the next one. Take care.
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